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Saturday, September 29, 2012

You are Still A Bully and I Still Don't Like You

            Here’s the deal, no matter how nice you think you are or how much you think you’re helping women by protesting at women’s clinics, you’re not.  You are no more minding your own business than any other protester.  Smiling makes you no less harmful, and no matter how much you believe that you aren’t judging women going into the clinic, you are making them feel judged.  You are still a bully.
            They don’t want to talk you.  If they wanted to put a baby up for adoption, they would.  I assure you, the people who have made it to the point that they need a clinic are aware that adoption is out there.  If by chance they’ve never heard of it or don’t know who to go to ask about it, women’s clinics are required to tell patients about it.
            Adoption is only an alternative to parenting; you still have to be pregnant.  Some women just can’t be pregnant.  Those women will either have a safe legal procedure at a clinic or they will take it into their own hands.  I know a woman who jumped off her roof in an attempt to cause a miscarriage. It didn’t work.  Guess what was next? A plethora of chemicals for home cleaning, ingested.  She was willing to poison herself in order to not be pregnant.  She had no transportation to a clinic and even if she had, she had no way to get there without having someone to take care of her children.  This lady finally gave up after months of trying. 
            The child was born, and the mother HATED the child.  There was no maternal instinct: while she loved her other children, she loathed this one.  She treated this child differently, and to this day they hate each other.  He had a deep seeded hate of women, and the woman who gave birth to him not only hates him, but herself as well.  She would like to love him, but she flat out does not.  It was a horrible situation, and it still is.  Now both of them are miserable.  She, to this day, says her only regret is that she gave up trying to miscarry.  How horrible to be born into that!
            Why would you want a child to be born to a mother who hates it and blames it for all things bad in the world?  The woman who is forced for become a parent doesn’t always misplace the anger and aim it at the child, but some women will.  You may ask, “well why didn’t she just give it up for adoption?”  I’ll tell you why: social pressure.  Had she given it up, she would have been rejected by her husband as well as the rest of her family.  No birth control available, and no abortion available, and entire family shredded due to forced birth.
            No matter how nice you are to me, no matter how much you want to delude yourself to believe we are there for the same reason, we are not. I know of many situations where a child had a miserable life due to similar circumstances.  I know women who have had abortions and describe it as the greatest relief you can imagine.  Some of these women have other children and love them.  What you have to understand is to become a mother or not is intensely personal, and the women have spent nights awake wondering what’s right.  They know their life and their abilities far better than anyone standing on a sidewalk.  They are not stupid; don’t insult them by asking if they have heard of adoption or insisting that you can help.  How long are you going to help?  Through the pregnancy?  Early childhood? Are you going to pay for a wedding or a college education?  Chances are you’re having enough trouble paying for your own stuff.  A woman at the clinic with a person asked for grocery money for her children.  She was there to support a patient and they said no.  NO.  Guess what those kids were toddlers and high-schoolers, and they needed help.  They don’t help families they; just want to force you into one.   


  1. Bravo, my darling friend! No woman ever decided to obtain an abortion because she wanted to savor a new experience.

    --Tracey Ha

  2. After seeing what you mean first hand, I have to agree. No matter what the protestors think, escorts are not there for the same reason as them. They are there to yell at women who they think are too stupid or uneducated to make a decision on their own and to pass out incorrect information. We are there to walk them to the door, to protect them from the yelling, to hold their hand, to give up to date and accurate information, and let them know that it is their right to choose, to let them feel comfortable with their decision, and let them know that we will support them and hold their hand and protect them no matter what choice they make. We love women. They love wombs.